greetings from heaven
midsummer heat


It's hot. I live in a loft and for the past 3 days, I've been literally cooking in here.
But I'm happy.
I've not gone mad, I just wanted the summer to be summer for so long that even if I'm sweating my brains out I'm still smiling.

I haven't been taking many pictures lately, I have been focusing on the ones I already have, with the help of a newly found friend whose eyes I'm extremely lucky to have to observe my images.

I am trying to overcome those walls I put up for myself that stopped me for the longest time from achieving my goals. Trying to look at your own work with objectivity is one of the hardest things you can ever do as an artist and I'm just twisting my guts trying to exclude what I know from what I see.
Damn if it's hard!
These are a few shots from my recent weekend outside of London, toward the sea.
photos: Caterana Tonnē Fleur
title: Whitstable at night

Here below is a new discovery of mine.
I think it sounds scarier than it is, I used it not exactly as it was intended but it was a great experience and surprising for what it brought back to mind . . .
Keep reading if you'd like to know what it brought back for me.
title: Afterlife Experience

I'm a girl, it's the end of the 90s, I think.
I don't exactly know how old I am but these images rushed to the front of the queue as soon as I started the 'exercise' prompted by the website.
I am in the pine forest in Castiglioncello (Tuscany) with my grandpa.

[I'm pretty sure I have imagined this coming scene because I know he would wake up way too early for me to join him but I still see this vividly]

I'm accompanying my grandpa, following his steps in the pine forest, my feet are wearing those cheap plastic sandals you get at the newsagents for 5.000 lire (2,50€) and are stepping on a carpet of dried pine needles. The smell of the trees' resin is very distinct and makes me feel safe.

It is one of the things I loved most about going to the seaside on holidays: I got to eat pine nuts.
My grandpa Beppe would go out for a walk in the morning and come back with a 2L bottle rammed full of pine nuts which we would open sitting in the garden of the rented house every afternoon after lunch. They made my hands completely black and I was clumsy and always smashed some finger with the rock I used to crush their shells, but it was a small activity that filled me with joy.

Then other memories rush in from the same vacation, things I have not thought about for so long...
The cold showers because the boiler was broken;
the growing pains that kept me awake at night and my mom with me, massaging my legs for hours;
my younger cousin's favourite stuffed talking bear Ciro which we all hated by the end of the vacation;
playing cards with grandpa and always losing.

I also remember my grandpa always making coffee in the big Moka pot and drinking it all by himself before anyone even got up in the morning [again, don't know if this memory is accurate or not].

And most of all, from that holiday I remember my cousin Cosimo (an adventurous teenager and completely in love with my grandpa) coming back home from being at the seaside with his friends one afternoon and discovering that my grandpa had ventured into the world of laundry, with dare I say, disastrous consequences.
Turns out Beppe had been using bleach instead of detergent because he had never laundered anything before, and now all of Cosimo's t-shirts and some of my aunts' clothes looked like they came out of a Woodstock revival. I remember my cousin being so happy he begged my grandpa to wash the rest of his clothes too.
My aunt didn't share the same excitement.

I urge you to try this, it's challenging but unexpectedly rewarding.
And if you do, I would like to know about it.

Thank you for reading.
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Fruit of Tonne Fleur's brain associations.
If this makes you think of something and you want to let me know, feel free to drop me a line 

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Tonne Fleur · 27b Melford Road · London, County (optional) E17 7EN · United Kingdom

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