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HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF

We watched the memorial service for Santa Cruz Sheriff Deputy Damon Gutzwiller, 38, and it was overwhelmingly sad. A white supremacist murdered the deputy in Ben Lomond, June 6. He had a 2-year-old son, Carter, and his wife, Faviola, has a baby due this month. You can see the memorial at the Cabrillo College football field here  and here

 

There are no words to describe the sheer horror and sorrow. Trying to peel back the clouds of sorrow, Twin Lakes Church Pastor Rene Schlaepfer summed it up by saying that Damon Gutzwiller “left the world a better place.” 
 

Growing Up writer and ad salesperson Linda Kay, who is rooted in religion, ethics, and spirituality, wrote an advice column on how to deal with grief in our June issue. 
 

“Grief is a strange thing,” she writes. “It expresses itself in a variety of ways: shock, anger, helplessness, profound sadness, depression, acceptance – and then repeat.” She says people on the West Coast try to push aside grief, which only compounds the pain. 
 

“While it is admirable to try to give your children the best, it is important to give yourself some grace. As posted by tinybuddha.com, “And if today, all you did was hold yourself together, I am proud of you.” 

If you are feeling sad or depressed, this column can help.

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How to Let Go of Your Son
For Father’s Day this Sunday, writer Jason Garner gives a first-person account of watching his son grow up and take flight into a new world. After years of fostering his son’s dreams, now it’s time for Kevin to create his world. Garner’s response is a mix of poignance, sorrow, and pride. There are lessons here for all of us.

“My son is moving out,” he writes. “He’s turned 20 and over the last year I’ve observed how the safety of our home has become a prison for him. He has new ideas, morals, and philosophies. I’ve been careful to allow space for his opinions but we disagree sometimes, which is new for us. He’s told me I’m patriarchal, capitalist, racist. I try to listen and learn, and can sometimes see his point, but mostly I hear, “Dad, I’m leaving,” which is something he hasn’t known how to say another way. “
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Finally, on an upbeat note, who are some children’s performers that adults can stand and kids can dig? We have one suggestion here, one of our favorites called Trout Fishing in America. Here’s a video to share with the young’uns and brighten your day. One is about dinosaurs, another about what baby did with the car keys.
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