Hello Master <<First Name>>,
It seems like the abrupt new routine is slowly becoming more familiar and manageable,
and I realize that other issues are starting to come up.
Besides the worry and the uncertainty,
feelings of no purpose, confusion and emptiness are stepping in,
causing restlessness and sluggishness.
In synchronicity, like in synchronicity,
Once I realized what we’re going to speak about today,
signs and support started to appear.
(This is another issue I took care of this week... My ability (or inability) to be supported and helped, but this is maybe for another email (-: )
The two immediate references were:
Andreas Mouskos from The Diamond Approach, mentioned the difference between Self Esteem and True Value,
and dear M. who posted about "Rise and Grind" vs. "Rise and Find (your true path)".
I hope it’s ok I gave those thoughts my own interpretation,
and gratefully integrated them into my process of perception.
Our Self Esteem has been estimated in relation to our Grind.
The constant question of the protective ego, is:
“Can I use this to become liked and accepted so that I ensure my survival?”
We learned to rely our self worth on the doing and executing,
and sort our traits into strengths, gifts, weaknesses and useless waste
according to the feedback and the validation coming from the outside -
which we were taught to consider a valid way of measurement.
If you give it a honest thought,
how much of your pride comes from doing well?
Accomplishing a good job, maintaining friendships,
getting to do everything, throwing a cool birthday party for someone,
hosting and cooking, being productive,
hitting the gym daily, posting pictures from the last trip on social media,
giving a wise advice to a colleague, taking care of an old parent,
being an understanding partner...
This is normal for us.
We’re so used to base our spiritual, mental and emotional satisfaction
on the physical performance.
What happens when we are moved to functioning
from a very narrow physical existence?
When we can’t perform the things we were trained to think are valued and meaningful?
When the ability to gain self validation from the doing and the outside,
has dropped, disappeared?
(Would you ever thought you'd ever have not to only think about that hypothetically,
but actually figure it out - for yourself?
Not for a prisoner in a tiny jail cell…?
Well, now we do…
Nevertheless, the trick is just similar.
It's all in our head;
The internal focus is the big key here.)
When we lose hold of the physical,
that inner emptiness is coming up.
That feeling of lack of purpose, uselessness, vulnerability.
It leads to restlessness, agitation - and to anxiety;
The ego, which still, in its mind, protects a 5 years old dependent child,
is getting extremely stressed and agitated now.
Because the main ability to show the world, and itself, that it’s a good (child and) individual,
deserved of respect and appreciation –
worthy, useful, disciplined, productive, moral, provider, successful –
has been taken away.
And without hard work, giving, fixing, showing, pleasing, organizing...
Who are we? And how can we be valued?
Accepted, chosen, included...?
What a great time now,
to see it all, surfacing from the hidden shadowy unconsciousness
right to the light.
And to have the chance to take care of it,
and make the transformation into life from inside out,
life from a soul being –
True Value and Find.
Are you ready to go independent?
If your answer is yes,
then, first of all,
we want to reconnect with our stable, peaceful core,
with who we really are,
and define our clear, clean Why.
In childhood, many times this Why wasn’t appreciated,
and was therefore repressed, put away or even rejected and tagged as a ‘non grata’,
a threat to dignity.
So now, at the beginning,
the Why may look odd, embarrassing, shallow, ridiculous…
But, this is what it is. Simple, fundamental, alive.
Just like our very concentrated personal reality right now.
Let's do this together:
Slow down, take a deep breath. Relax.
And let any answers to come:
What is your deepest motivation,
that makes you open your eyes in the morning? Get out of bed?
That holds you when everything you knew is falling apart? Makes you keep going?
It’s underneath any external reason, need and obligation.
This is the starter, the reason to live.
What do you live for?
how does it make you feel?
What qualities does it bring into your life?
Find it. Journal about it.
Get to know it, make friends with it.
Write it down in a few words and read it when you just wake up, and just before you fall asleep –
the brief moments of wide open windows
between the consciousness and the unconsciousness,
the place where connections and changes happen.
This is the most important part,
which you can recall and come back to
every time you get lost in the uncontrollable unknown.
Now, if you like to explore farther,
you can proceed into acknowledgement.
It asks for a radical honesty...
But anyway there is nothing outside, even literally… right?
So find a safe spot at home, where no one can see.
How much do you determine your values by social orientation?
Build a persona, embrace expectations as if they were yours?
Most expectations are not ours.
Although they could feel like original,
they were actually picked by the ego from others, and fully integrated in our inner system,
so that we fit in, being accepted and not left outside -
not feeling excluded, weirdo, different.
Can you recognize them?
Looking at these expectations now, what is your real truth?
Living from inside,
is to remember and live who we really are,
with no comparison or effort.
It is to live through a confident authenticity,
from a sustainable, trusted inner core –
that can deal with anything, and grow from - and with - everything.
It is to naturally shine your unique light upon your own world
and the entire universe,
and to conduct a full whole life,
even without opening the house door.
Keep taking a good care,
Sending love and health,
What else can I do for you?
I would love to hear about your experience,
and how can I better serve you through this period of time?
Tell me here
If you feel that it's time to make your reality work better for you:
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