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It's our daddy issue

Father's Day is around the bend and we wanted to take a moment to shout out all the dads, stepdads, uncles,  gramps and father figures who have taught us so much in life — like how to check our oil. Yep, still dark and icky in there. Now what?

Forward this to someone who can actually change their oil.

Dad to the bone

Father’s Day means it’s finally time to return the gift of all those dad jokes you’ve suffered through enjoyed over the years. While nothing can truly match his wit, here are some ideas that might make him as happy as reversing into a parking spot he definitely could’ve driven into normally. Or insisting the family watch a movie just to be caught snoring immediately after opening credits. OK, we’re done roasting pops — for now. Scroll down for our guide.


He's got style down to a tee

May the course be with Dad this Father’s Day. Spice up his golf game with this rainbow of polos from Gordon’s Menswear. They might even bring more confidence to his subpar — don't tell him we said that — abilities on the greens. Fore-get those tired white socks that likely have a hole in one. Pops will be ready for the front nine with his ten toes dressed for success. Justin Timberlake’s “Suit and Tie” is sooo 2013 — kinda like those bowties in Dad’s closet. These Brackish beauties are sure to ruffle the feathers of rival dads. Is he the best player on the links? Nah, but he'll be the best looking. ($12.95–225)

He's the real slim shady

Rays and shine, it’s Father’s Day! Nothing screams "dad" more than pointing out that his glasses are on top of his head — not, in fact, missing. Look on the bright side. His attachment to his sunglasses might just make new Maui Jims from House of Eyes the perfect gift. Maybe an all-inclusive Hawaiian vacation isn't in the cards this year, but these shades will go right to his head, bringing the resort vibes directly to him. Like father, like sun, every man in your life will be dying to make like Ms. Lovato and stay “Cool for the Summer” with his new designed-to-last lenses. ($329.99)

Lord of the wings

Dad is the name, birding is the game. If he's looking to live tweet his successful finds, we’re ready to make him proud as a peacock — though no promises he'll spot one. Feather his nest with a fancy new birdhouse or feeder from Guilford Garden Center, featuring elegant white posts and copper fixings sure to draw the eye of flighty friends and jealous neighbors alike. Dad's sure to go loon-y when he sees the way it brings all the birds to the yard. Rumor has it George Whoooo-ney's hatchlings are gifting their papa bird this penthouse roost. ($262)

In the market for man-tiques?

Like your old man, some things are just better with age. Though we can’t get behind teens referring to the '90s as "vintage," these reclaimed collectibles from Boxwood Antique Market certainly keep with the ways of cyclic fashion. If dad likes horsin' around — yay or neigh? — consider a bronze head reflective of his behavior. Or maybe he's a dog dad. This paperweight is sure to have him barkin’ with delight. Take a page from us and give him these gilded coffee table books to read or just use as decor. We won’t judge. Nothing screams masculinity like some good ol’ man-tiquing. ($10-200)



17th, 18th, Juneteenth

They say go big or go home. Well, Greensboro is going big with Juneteenth this year, making it a three-day affair full of artistry, gospel music and family-friendly fun. What's going on?

  • Begin the festivities with all things handmade and homegrown at The People's Market from 5:30–8:00 p.m., Thursday, June 16. Stuff your face, then stuff your soul.
  • At 8 p.m., Thursday, June 16, at the Van Dyke Performance Space, catch Sistars of Juneteenth, a celebration of Black female artists across every creative genre, from music and dance to painting and poetry. Talk about star power!
  • Celebrate the contributions of Black artists in Greensboro at the Arts Legacy Awards at 7:30 p.m., Friday, June 17, at the Van Dyke Performance Space. We were told there'd be dinner.
  • Move over Cinderella — at 8 p.m., Friday, June 17, ditch those glass slippers and don your fanciest kicks plus your best black-tie affair attire for the Uptown FRESH Sneakerball.
  • Mural, mural on the wall, who's got the steadiest hand of all? Find out at the Mural Concert from 6 a.m.–9 p.m., Saturday, June 17. Kick off the day by repainting the Black Lives Matter mural, followed by yoga, food trucks — downward dogs and hot dogs? — and a concert. 
  • Break bread — and eat it, too — with Black-owned businesses at the Black Food Truck Fest from 5–10 p.m., Saturday, June 18, at LeBauer Park.
  • Barber Park comes alive from 2:30–5:30 p.m., Sunday, June 19, during the inaugural Juneteenth Gospel Superfest: Interfaith Celebration, an event celebrating concert and community. Sing along or just do like we do — mouth the words while strongly emoting.
  • The Historic Magnolia House has no vacancy in its weekend schedule. Discover learning opportunities from June 15–18; the DexBass Live Experience, featuring a variety of musical talent from 8–9:30 p.m., Friday, June 17; and a house music party from 6 p.m.—midnight, Saturday, June 18, where you'll groove the night away to electric afro-beats.
  • UNCG, NC A&T and Guilford College are coming together to give it that old college try with two Juneteenth events. At 2 p.m., Friday, June 17, Zoom in for A Sober Conversation About Juneteenth. No hiding flasks out of screen range. At 9:30 a.m., Monday, June 20, join in-person or via livestream for a celebration at the Weatherspoon Art Museum, featuring speakers from all three schools, plus poetry and musical performances.
  • Take a trip back in time at the Greensboro History Museum at 2 p.m, Saturday, June 18. Channel your inner child (or bring yours) with crafts, free activities and blacksmithing demonstrations. It’s an event for the history books!

They came in like a Shrek-ing ball

Community Theatre of Greensboro brings Shrek The Musical to the Carolina Theatre, June 17–26. Forget the popcorn. We want gingerbread cookies and happily-ever-after potion.



Fairy funny

Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the hair? We have and we're doing it again, plus donning our fairy wings for Greensboro Summer Solstice, from 2–10 p.m., Saturday, June 18, at Lindley Park. Shop vendors, sip magical witchcraft beer and end the night in a blaze of glory with the festival's fire show.

Such a sweet tart

When life hands you lemons, have a professional baker whip up lemon blueberry pancakes that support hunger relief efforts in Ukraine, led by World Central Kitchen. Everyone wins at the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market's Pancake Breakfast for Ukraine from 8 a.m.–noon, Saturday, June 18.

Posture raised

We have a hunch that physical therapist Dr. Corey Hillman's Lunch & Learn about the neck and shoulders is something we could all use. Get posture-ized from noon–1 p.m., Tuesday, June 14, at transformGSO.

Dad who?

Forget the fathers for a night. Girls Gather Triad invites all the ladies to Girls Night Out at Summerfield Farms from 5–8 p.m., Thursday, June 16. Shop over 10 local women-owned businesses. Dad called — he just wants you to be happy, aka use his credit card tonight.

Go, Doggo

Walk your bestie to Dog Days on the Greenway with Doggos  — and  siiiiiiiit, staaaaay — from 5–7 p.m., Thursday, June 16. With dog beer, frosty paws ice cream and raffle prizes, everyone gets a treat.  

Pig out

Hey, barbe-cuties! Treat dad to a three-course lunch — likely followed by a nap on the couch. Summerfield Farms and 1618 invite the fam to chow down at their Father's Day Barbecue at 1 p.m., Sunday, June 19. We don't know about pulled pork, but, with all the dads around, there are sure to be pulled fingers.

Musical range

From country crooners to contemporary Christian, Greensboro is a variety show of sorts this week. We just need a comedic host to make it official. We volunteer!

  • Crowder is sure to draw a crowd with his My People Tour, featuring We the Kingdom, Anne Wilson and Patrick Mayberry, at the Greensboro Coliseum, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, June 18. Even though it's a Saturday, we bet Wilson will deliver "Sunday Sermons."
  • More into Broadway playbooks than the Good Book? The singers of Triad Pride Performing Arts welcome you to a night of show tunes. Head Back to Broadway at 7 p.m., Saturday, June 22, at the Virginia Somerville Sutton Theatre at Well-Spring.
  • At 7 p.m., Sunday, June 19, Colin Cutler hosts East of Nashville Songwriters in the Round in the Crown at the Carolina Theatre, featuring Emanuel Wynter, Momma Molasses and Matty Sheets. Sure to be a night that's as sweet and smooth as Momma's name.



Taste the rainbow

Guilford Green Foundation invites all who support and belong to the LGBTQ community to a Pride meetup at Bull City Ciderworks from 5:30–7 p.m., Tuesday, June 14. Drink responsibly and colorfully — all drink purchases made at this event support GGF.

Dad bod in progress

At 6 p.m., Tuesday, June 14, put on your shiniest lamé leotard, find your inner '80s Richard Simmons — he's not really missing — and get ready to jazzercise with Cindy Barbour's Old School Aerobics


Run through the rainbow in the Color me Rad 5K at 8 a.m., Saturday, June 18. White from the start, you'll soon be sporting a tee with splashes of color! Be sure to save some energy for a post-race dance party.

Let us see your sushi roll

Megan Griffin, you are our Grasshoppers tickets winner with this dad joke:
What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? Wasabi!!!!
BTW, hop to the home game tonight, June 14, and you could be the 6 millionth fan and win a fantastic prize package. No dad jokes required to enter, but they're always an added bonus.

The doctor will won't see you now

Here's a gentle reminder that today is National Call Your Doctor Day. Or, National Call Your Doctor and Postpone Your Appointment Again Day. There, we fixed it.

Copyright © 2022 O.Henry Magazine, All rights reserved.

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